View from {HellCat} Tree House

View from the treehouse

I love the apartment I picked this time. Sure it has it's quirks because it's an older complex, but most of them only mildly annoy me...The pluses completely outweigh the minuses...

Like the squirrels. I am in love with the squirrels. They live in the trees just off my second story patio. I feed them and the birds. All are completely spoiled....but so worth it...

At first I had one that I was trying to hand train to come to me, but after talking to my dear Pattykins I became convinced that wasn't the wisest choice...I know better then to try to tame wild animals and I don't particularly want them to feel welcome in my home, so I stopped that...but I still feed them a mix of corn. bird seed and sunflowers...Oh and occassionally some fruit...I tried veggies but they didn't want jack nor crack to do with those...They really like apples.

Anyhow I get to watch squirrel TV all the time because they LOVE to swing in the bird feeder while pigging out, or crawl all over/between my bamboo screens and white fabrics. They are very amusing. Sometimes they lay their bellies flat on the cement with half under the rail into the patio and half over the edge of the patio floor where it ends. They stretch reallllllly far and get their full tummies really warm. Othertimes they vie for dominance and I have seen up to four of them chasing each other around from the feeder on the floor to the bird feeder hanging from the roof, using the afore mentioned screens and such as launching and landing pads. They are fucking halirious.

Rarely do I ever see two of them in the feeder at once. This morning I woke up to a different situation. WE HAVE TWO SQUIRRELS IN LOVE!! They were sharing all the food and actually snuggling in the bird feeder this morning. I watched them swing together and act all sweet. Then they came down and ate out of the squirrel bowl together. They got up on the railing with their legs stretched and dangling. The one on the right side scooted up to the other one and gave a 'nose kiss'. Swear to god!!

I went to get Will up to see it. I also put some apples out there to get them near the window, but they are sneaking to get them when I am not looking. We sat and watched them court each other. It was adorable. She'd climb up the bamboo and tease him to chase a little. Then she'd dangle over the rail and make him shimmy up it. Will actually caught him trying to mount her but I missed that. We delayed his leaving to see if we'd get to watch them fuck, but they just scampered off the tree for privacy...hopefully someday soon I will get to see a baby squirrel...

Today I am dedicated to cleaning the bedroom. I have put it off too long and it's never nice when our outtatown kitty comes to stay. I want to make it nicer [and darker] for all three of us. I also have an idea of how to create a little more privacy from the livingroom too...

I really hope that kitty knows how dear she has become to me. Last weekend I was a little too cranky for my taste. Hopefully she knows it was really just back pain with a headache and nothing personal. I am enjoying our relationship and wish I could figure out a way to show it better.

I am a little worried about my local girl kitty. She's starting something new with someone I don't know. For the past year or so, she has bounced from situation to situation without really finding the one that works for her. I think she is too willynilly with her heart because she is so ready for love. I feel helpless because I have no real control over this -- she may be under my protection, but she is NOT my property. She's a 'free range sub' who is encouraged to hunt for herself.

First thing I know I am going to do to help her is to develop the negotiation barbie concept and talk to her about contracts, collar acceptance and title bestowment. It's not that she is new -- it is that she is too eager because she misses what she knows can be...I have to find a way that forces her to slow down. I just hope she will accept this and not think I am being too controlling.

I am going to come up with a tracking method to see what her pattern is so I can clearly point the facts out to her. It seems like the shelf life has been three months each. Maybe if I sit back, listen and observe I can help her develop an approach that will be more conducive to a long-term situation closer to what she says she wants...

I am already working with another friend on this type of thing...Her picker is broken and she admits it...We are working together on figuring out what common traits the people she has had failed relationships with had in common...

The funny part of all this by our community standards...Here are 2 submissive WOMEN whom I have become extremely protective of and love dearly...NEITHER of them are full-time committed to me or even truly in service to me...yes, they would all come and work with me on anything I needed and help me whenever I ask -- this I know and serves as the basis of our 'dynamic'...Why is it I can help these women while they struggle to find a deceint Dom to serve?

I know why I want to...I think they are wonderful...and I am sick of the mess others make of good people PLUS the mess they make of themselves...

Is it really so difficult to be kind to those who are under us? Shouldn't a dominant want to NOT emotionally harm or be psychologically destructive even if it means putting their selfishness aside?

On the otherside of the coin, why settle for a Dom if they are not what you want? How to make sure they will jibe with you starts with taking your time to study them. Don't rush into anything. Watch how they interact with others, ask about them throughout the community, talk to their formers and see what ultimately ended things. DO NOT FUCKING RUSH IN..

What happened to trial periods before collaring? Why would anyone toss a collar on someone they knew less than a year and what makes someone so desperate to take it? What's the fucking rush?

I don't know. I have made my mistakes with this in the past and hopefully learned better. I've never been too quick with the collar, but often partnered for months or longer with idiots who would have never been offered one anyhow. In each of those situations, I rushed. I was starved. It was pathetic. I was pathetic.

I am much stronger without it. Will and I took a great deal of time building what we have. We jammed the hot and heavies into the first two months before he relocated to Austin for over a year. During that time frame, we did the long distance with online chats/dates and really got to know each other...Our visits were a great honeymoon period before we lived together...It was a nice transition when he did move in...That time to breathe did go away with this move and has become something we both miss, so now we are looking for an option to improve this feeling without being apart all the time...All of this is only possible because I didn't rush into it all willynilly...

If I can get this through my thick skull, I can teach it to others. It changed my life. I hate to admit it, but it did...At times I feel like advising people to treat your entrance to the community like how it's advised to spend the first year of living sober through AA -- "DO NOT GET INTO A PERSONAL ONE AND ONE INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP THE FIRST YEAR!"...play casually with the new friends you make...go to parties, munches and events with a group of friends...have the occassional one on one playdate but do not start anything until you have sampled everything...learn, grow and become enlightened...

For those who are already submerged in the community, I would add the qualifier - 'And after ANY BREAKUP take one month of being single to get your mind right for each month you were in the relationship. Don't fucking run to jump into another one!!

That's it for me today. I am off to get the room done, feed myself some brocolli - probably grilled, as it is my favorite way to eat it nowdays, and run to the other side of the freeway...I need to go the bank, grab a few items at the store and hit the dollar store...Afterall, I have some girls who need new dollies...

*Oh and negotiation Barbies will be explained another time...lv M