Relief

Realization
I have found peace...It dawned on me this morning that I no longer have to fight my exhub1...the death of him and his lover this past year has ultimately set me free...For years I had issues with them and it made for an extremely nasty relationship...One that degraded to the point of little to no communication...but an on-going fight, never-the-less...

And this morning it dawned on me the war is over...whew..no more feeling guilty for the ways they were driving me to be cruel to them...no more worrying that my kids would have to deal with exactly what they ended up dealing with -- the long-term affects of their father's alcoholism...No more of the never ending BULLSHIT that came along with having to share my kids with someone I felt never made the effort to appreciate them...

I cannot tell you all how freeing this is...It was like I was Atlas and the globe finally rolled off my shoulders or stayed at the top of the mountain...whichever...Eitherway the weight has lifted...

And selfishly, I am over joyed, delighted and lighter for the lack of burden...

THANK YOU TO THE FATES...M