Littles

Over the past few years something new has emerged in our area... We have more people developing sides of themselves and dynamics based on the "littles" concept. I will admit at first this held no appeal to me other then they are fun to have as friends at parties. [They bring barbies and like to color!] As time has passed, my fascination has become an understanding of sorts. It's with the "little girls" I feel the closest bond.

I know what it feels like to be a scared little girl with a naughty side just looking for the person who could make you feel safe, love you inspite of your temper/behavior and perhaps even help you grow up. I have that kind of feeling when my "five year old" comes out.

My five

My five is a DOMINANT SADIST. I have no idea if she is trying to work through my feelings of powerlessness as a child [which there were many of, as I always felt like an adult trapped in a child's body] OR if she is the very core of the mean bitch I am in total.

She's the one who IS a princess. She can be beguilling and cute, but who will stomp her feet, pout and whine to get her way in the end should you not become entraced by her delights. If all else fails, she will just hit you and take what she wants.

She is also the instigator when it comes to fighting what is, "NOT FAIR". Thankfully, she is not the one who manages the attacks; for if so, they would not sound logical or educated and would fall on deaf ears. Her battles would all end with things like, "doodie-headed monkey boy!"

She is also the top part of me that enjoys being obnoxious in my sadistic techniques. She's the tickler. She's the poker. She's the one who will pull your pigtails as you skip on by. Those who have met her [Tanya could explain for sure] find her to be quite fun to bottom to, as it is perferred by her to make you giggle - not cry.

Because this side of me is identified and welcomed, she is actually well adjusted. But because she is childlike herself, she can not be the full-time dominant in a relationship. I don't think I could ever set up a dynamic as a little top to a little bottom, should this even exist.

My thoughts on how a little dynamic would work for me

For that dynamic to work for me, I feel my MommyDommy side would have to be tapped into. I am not sure if it's because I AM a mom, or because I have that instinct, but where the 'littles' are involved I generally feel more like a mentor/mother. They have that childlike vunerablity which draws out the protective lionness within me.

I want to clarify this is definately NOT sexual. If anything, it couldn't be because so many of the little girls I know are stuck in this spot at time because of a sexual abuse's timing in their personal chronology. [Not all littles btw - just SOME were abused. This is common amongst subs for some strange reason.] I would never want the kink to dredge up that shit, although I could see myself helping someone work through it should this situation arise. Eitherway, I don't see this as an area within the kinkworld that I would taint with sexuality. I'd want it to have a more pure love.

Maybe the appeal is to have the little girl my daughter no longer is. [She just graduated this year and her baby brother is in line next for the honor at the end of the new school year.] Perhaps I am preparing myself for the empty nest. It may only be subconsciously, but I do know it could easily be an underlying factor in my curiousity.

Also when my daughter was little she DIDN'T like to let me dress her up and do her hair - she wanted to do it all herself. She also didn't like to play with me, as her brother was her best amusement. So it could be my way of having that lost time in a way I control. I am not sure.

How I am going to explore this side of me

I am NOT going to take on a little full-time just yet. Okay, that's not totally true, as Will has a five year old in him that I already enjoy and tap into. Let me rephrase it...I am not going to start an additional relationship one on one with a specific little aside from the one already in my established dynamic.

I AM going to start doing things with my friends who already have a little they identify and relish. I have two in particular that I have become overtly endeared to -- princess and celli. They have both expressed an eagerness to come and play with the kitties.

Oh what fun this could be!! I would love the kitties to get a chance to really embody their element. Hell I might even make them ears and tails just to really get into it. We could lay out all the guest bedding to have a mat for them to wrestle around on.

I want to bring the girls over. We could bake cookies and have a tea party! They could color and/or play with my goth dollies. The kitties could come torment them while they do stuff. To make sure, I will put big bows in the girl's ponytails that dangle just low enough when they sit on the floor to tempt them!!

Oh this could be big fun. The girls could cuddle with the kitties and take a nap if they want. Whatever works for everyone.

No whips. No canes. No chains. Just pure fun.

Now, just to pick a date. This isn't going to be a public party, but a gathering of these select friends. Wonder what's going on in August...OR perhaps the end of this month??

Eitherway, it's on my mind....like so much else lately...lv M