*swipes drool from edge of lip*"I really like you"

Internet Stereotypical Topic Starters & Why they fail for me...
As many of my long term readers know, I am all over the Net. I have used it for dating following the demise of my 3 year relationship with Satan. I met my last ex-hub on one of the services....In all this time not much really changes in terms of how people approach me....Most of the time I write about how these notes are faulty when approaching a Female Dominant [FemDom] but today's blog is going to be a little different -- I am going to show how I am generally approached and what these openers trigger in my mind....Today's stereotype is "I loved your profile" and I get these notes from both Doms and Subs!!!

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*These selections are taken from actual emails. Nothing will be edited so you may see just how this stuff goes down*

This is my personal favorite - The "I found your profile so interesting. Let's talk":

Hey, I absolutely loved your profile its very engaging, would you care to message for a bit?

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This always makes me think -- Which part? What exactly did you feel compelled to write to me because of? Have you even read my profile? And if you had, why again are you writing me?

So I tend to reply with [and yes, it is becoming my 'form' response for this note]:

These kinds of notes always make me wonder,

"What exactly did he find appealing? Was it the text? My blog? My pix?'

So -- if you want to get to know me better, then please be specific with quotes and what not when you answer these questions...

M

What this should be telling the reader is I want them to do a close reading on the text and explain exactly what they liked about it. I figure this way they might figure out on their own that I am not looking for someone like them. BUT NOOOOO...

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They generally reply with something similar to this shit:

Ms M,

It was the whole package. You are quite attractive and express yourself very well.

Mostly, you struck me as someone who knows what she wants in a relationship. That is important to me.

Seriously? Does that have a single fucking quote in it? No. It has vague bullshit. MEN IF YOU THINK THIS IS COMMUNICATION AND FOLLOWING DIRECTIONS THEN YOU ARE ALL MORONS.

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This is my NEW form response for the ones who come back with stupid shit like this for me:

I do know what I want...I want people in my life who follow directions. I asked you to QUOTE your favorite section[s]...This was a test of your close reading abilities...I wanted you to take the time to really look at my profile and read it very carefully so you could explain to me why you wrote me to begin with...

See, if you had followed directions you would have noticed I DO talk clearly about what I want:
"I am actively looking for a few things:

A. A performance partner. Willbur hates doing stage. I need someone who WANTS to be on there with me and more often then not I would like it to be a male. I love playing/performing with girls and the crowd loves a girl on girl thing, but for my femdom image a male could be better.

B. A SissyMaid who CLEANS. I am totally down with playing dress-up, but am sick of living without a maid. I miss being that spoiled.

C. A girl to train with Willbur [He's my Pet Tiger]. We need someone to top together. I am not sure if it will be a sexual relationship or addition to the pod, but I am sure we both want to top a cute subbie girl nowdays. Too bad I am so picky!

D. New photos of myself. My headshot is over a year old and it is time to update *after I finish my big make-over*."

NOW explain to me how someone out of the state could fill slot A? They would have to be close for practices and such.
Explain how you could be person B? Again, you are NOT local. This is a weekly position.

C. You are not female and not biologically qualified.

And as for D, well, that position has already been filled.

If you are really looking for the person to fill your kink void, why on earth are you looking out of state? Why are you NOT reading profiles for the content? Why are you even on this site?

M

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Oh my goodness!! I make it so simple for them to slink away quietly. I point out that I am paying attention. I give them simple and specific requests before I am left no choice but to humiliate them.

So MALE READERS...Just try to explain it to me...Explain to me why your gender doesn't want to make progresses in the communication for relationship concept? I know you all want to get laid and/or some attention yet you UNDERMINE yourselves. Doesn't it hurt to walk with a limp from shooting yourselves in the foot so much????

Help me to understand...oh nevermind...makes it easier for me to weed out the few that actually are ready for someone like me...

M