Auntie Mimi

Defining my ‘role’ in a “Little/Big” relationship:

I have really been looking at where I am in terms of female to female relationships. At this point in my life, I truly appreciate the affections of women but have no desire to explore them in terms of sexuality. I have always considered myself bisexual because I have had relationships with women where I allowed sexual exchanges, even if some were in the pretense of a three-some. After my last divorce I did enter in a sexual dynamic with a female that ended horribly [because she is a psycho-bitch] and all that did was reaffirm my disinterest in those activities.

*A similar situation also arose after the demise of my first marriage, as well. I just realized that while writing this. Hmmm, a new personal pattern develops. Mental note to self: Stay away from women who want a girl/girl sexual relationship with me too closely after any divorce. [Hopefully, I will never marry again so this advice will be unneeded.]

From the women who have served beneath me in the past, I learned – for me – I fair best with dynamics that are based on a mutual concern for each other’s mental and emotional well-being. As their dominant, I served as their confidant, advisor, mentor and shrink. We have worked on their issues with their upbringings, interpersonal/sexual relationships and discovery of self. They have a good deal of self-awakening, maturing and life skill adaptation through a process of blogging/journaling/discussion, resulting in their examination of their own patterns and the patterns they perpetuate with those whom they love. I try to guide them to learn from my experiences and mistakes, as well as the pitfalls I have observed in others’ lives. Together we help them see the true strength in submission.

Now I am pondering how to take this skill and transfer it into a “Little/Big” relationship. Well, after an honest self-evaluation of level of commitment I have come to the conclusion the Mommy role is NOT the one I am ready to provide a partner. I still have two teens at home and do not need more of it. Maybe once my nest is empty, but right now it would hamper my ability to create the balance/dynamic at the level I would want so as to provide a Mommy who could take care of everything. So what does that leave me?

I considered the possibility of having my “little” Top developing a playmate dynamic with some of the local “littles”, but that just seems to be less then what I feel would work best for all of us. My little is so damn picky about when she wants to take the lead that I wouldn’t want to make plans and then not feel it. While it could be silly and fun, I want something a little more enriching.

I think I have found an answer that works for me. “Auntie MiMi” is going to be the name I give to the special “littles” in my world. It will be our signal that they need/want that energy to develop between us. Let me tell you the ‘back-story’ I have honed for Auntie MiMi….

She’s the cool aunt. The one who might have you visit for a short period during the summer or occasional weekends, she is the one who took you swimming, made special days for you and was available when you needed emotional support. She is a positive female influence who shows you the delights of life. She might be a little like your mom or dad, but just a little off-the-norm. When your mom/dad doesn’t seem to understand you, she gets you. She talks to you as a person and not always a child. Sure, she encourages you to enjoy your childhood, and to make the most of what life has to offer, but she recognizes you are a human with real feelings and thoughts.

This means in terms of negotiating with my little friends I will provide a part-time relationship. It won’t always have the type of focus my in-house 247’s get, but it does promise that the time we spend together will be special and planned. It gives us both something to look forward to, while giving space for ‘vanilla life’.

If you are someone who needs to live as a little, this would NOT be the arrangement for you! It would be best for any FREE RANGE SUBS who want to explore the dynamic on a limited basis. It would be fine in addition to another BDSM relationship, should you be open to poly. [Of course this means if you need me to negotiate our relationship with your dominant that I will - beside you and not alone.]

I also can’t really be there daily. I have a very busy life, but will always make time for you if you really need me. I would prefer to keep up with the menial stuff via email, so you must be prepared for that. My phone is rarely turned on, but when it is you are welcome to call. Otherwise it is required you leave a message and drop an email in case of something very important to you. I will not track you down unless you drop off the radar. It is your responsibility to check in with me!

When possible my “littles” will get trinket presents from each play date. Small tokens representing our time together where some will be tools to use in their other relationships [such as the NO NO Barbies] and others will be just to bring a smile to their faces. Cool aunts always spoil kids with such things!

Coloring and drawing are some of my favorite kid activities. Ask anyone who has ever come to my home – I have alllllll the needed supplies. I will have a special ‘art gallery’ in my home for things they give to me. [One side of my fridge is already dedicated to the ones family have done!]

We can plan sleepovers. We can eat pizza and ice cream. Video games are always big hit around here too. It’s all about snuggling in and relaxing! No grown up pressures!

I truly enjoy playing dress-up. I have fun costume stuff for boys and girls, so this is not limited to one or the other. For the little girls only: I will do your hair in piggies and braids with ribbons. You never have to do it again!!

I cannot afford to dress you. That will always be your own responsibility. I would love to be there when you pick things out, but I can’t pay for them. Plus it saddens me when I see former relationships wearing things I bought them after they have moved on. Sorry, I am just not that cool of an Aunt.

*I don’t even have to always have an empty house for these, as my kids both have been taught how to deal with “littles”. [Cross-dressers and transgendered too! They love men in drag and folks who are sexually ambiguous!!]

As for BDSM and sexual play, well it will be extremely limited. I am not looking for that side of topping. I see no sexual attraction to the little mind-set. If you need to be punished with spanking, don’t expect it from me. My form of punishment is corner time or time-out. I do not reward bratty behavior ever, but instead offer a series of fun rewards for well behaved children. Also, there will never be any form of humiliation in my house! Should you be an ill-behaved child, you will quickly not be welcome here either. Better learn to play nicely with others!!

I think I have covered the basics. Of course, I know each different little will have their negotiations detailed to expound on points that will be individualized to their own needs. I also will be developing a list of questions so I can understand what needs that they have for me to fulfill. After all, it’s all about the exchange, right?

So give me some feedback. I need to know if what I am looking for is just not something anyone is interested in. For those who are, am I heading down a feasible direction?

Lv M