Not sentimental huh? yeah you are fucking banannas!
So I find my ex-wife in the MS system. Wow, she looks great! Dropped her a note and we are catching up.
She accepted me to her friend's list. I go to view her photos. In a folder titled friend's that I miss, I find two of me -- one with her amazing daughter and one of us together at our favorite gay bar...I started crying...
Not the loud boohoo wail, but the slow tricking tears with the hard breathing...Will hears this and asks what is wrong..."Oh it's stupid," I say...his reply, "If you are crying it is not stupid" [he can tell when I am crying about something that really hurts me] and comes to see what is making me cry.
First he compliments my red hair. Seems he thinks I do make a pretty red-head, which is great since I am in the process of ridding myself of the black to go back to it. Then he hugs me to make me feel better, but I can't stop the tears...
Until I hear from my new trainee in Cali. This cute young mohawk boy who wrote to me the other day on C'Me. He has started talking to people on there about booking sessions for him as a proSub. So exciting!! I hope all we talk about will only improve his already wonderful sense of what older women want from a slave -- especially at a price!
So here I sit torn. While I am uber happy for him, I am so sad about Kimi. I miss her nearly every single day and have for too many years now. I have never missed anyone so much. I know "people come and go - nothing lasts forever" is my personal truth, but damn. I believed her when she said it would never apply to her.
When she left it broke my heart and I honestly have never been the same. Nor have I taken on any female subs. It hurt too much to lose her. Boys and hubbies may come and go, but a great wife is hard to find -- especially if you are not looking...
M
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